Goutam, I’m thinking your third line is your pivot… The word, “of” is a preposition. The English language has so many peculiarities. I would refrain from using prepositions at the beginning or end of a phrase in tanka because they just take up space with no meaning gleaned from the word. Instead, you should some kind of action (verb) like “moves on” so it would read: life’s transience moves on… With that being said, this is a very apt tanka for life and I like it very much. β€
Thank you so much for the detailed feedback. Yes, I did intend the 3rd line to be the pivot. Noted your suggestion about using of preposition. Will need
to practice more. Thank you. ππ
Thanks so very much. If you are referring to the picture of the hammock, then that is of a tea resort that we had visited 2 years back, on the foothills of Nilgiri hills south of India. π
Yes, it is a beautiful resort….a small one but away from the hustle and bustle of the famous hill station of Ooty. A quaint little place. Apparently used to belong to a British tea planter who sold it once he left, post 1947.
Oh, yeah…. a good reminder that we are mere visitors π
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These days of Corona, one is reminded of this often… π
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Reblogged this on Reena Saxena and commented:
Life’s Transience ….. by Goutam Dutta
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Good one π
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So happy that you liked it. ΰ€¬ΰ€Ήΰ₯ΰ€€ ΰ€Άΰ₯ΰ€ΰ₯ΰ€°ΰ€Ώΰ€―ΰ€Ύΰ₯€ π
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My pleasure Goutam π
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Incidentally my son too is Gautam π
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That’s wonderful to know. ππ
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Facts!
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Goutam, I’m thinking your third line is your pivot… The word, “of” is a preposition. The English language has so many peculiarities. I would refrain from using prepositions at the beginning or end of a phrase in tanka because they just take up space with no meaning gleaned from the word. Instead, you should some kind of action (verb) like “moves on” so it would read: life’s transience moves on… With that being said, this is a very apt tanka for life and I like it very much. β€
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Thank you so much for the detailed feedback. Yes, I did intend the 3rd line to be the pivot. Noted your suggestion about using of preposition. Will need
to practice more. Thank you. ππ
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Youβre so welcome. You write lovely poetry. β€οΈ
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I am honoured.
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You’re so welcome. β€
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I didn’t say, but I love what you’ve done with the new blog. It’s very inviting. β€
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Thanks so very much. If you are referring to the picture of the hammock, then that is of a tea resort that we had visited 2 years back, on the foothills of Nilgiri hills south of India. π
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Just beautiful! What a lovely spot you found. π
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Yes, it is a beautiful resort….a small one but away from the hustle and bustle of the famous hill station of Ooty. A quaint little place. Apparently used to belong to a British tea planter who sold it once he left, post 1947.
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How interesting. India has many lovely places. Stay well, Gouttam. β€
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Well done! Time doesn’t stop for anyone.
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True….Thank you so much. ππ
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You’re welcome!
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Profound thoughts. π
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The absolute truth….Thank you. ππ
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Yes it is, you are welcome. π
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Nice one. Good reminder, we tend toforget.
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Glad that your thoughts are similar to mine. Thank you so much for your kind words. ππ
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π
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True. Thatβs the pathos of life. Beautifully penned, Goutam.
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Thank you so much. ππ
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